


Son of Darkness

by MyNameisChristmas



Category: South Park
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-30
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-02-11 01:17:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2047677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyNameisChristmas/pseuds/MyNameisChristmas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A.K.A Damien is a Little Asshole: the Series</p><p> </p><p>After being rather curtly stomped on by Mecha-Barbara Streisand, Pip ends up in hell and more or less becomes a PA for the son of Satan.</p><p>(this is how I cope with character death isn't it lovely)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_“Tch.”_

Damien sat boredly on his throne, feverishly tapping his fingers at the end of one armrest. The landscape around him was torn and barren and...red and black, and quite honestly trying too hard. (rocky in places, some fire somewhere-) This was hell. Literally. There wasn't much else to say.

Naturally, as several times before, he’d just been dragged -kicking and screaming- back to his own layer of hell from the earth by his father, Lucifer. Who must have been jealous of his capability to leave everything in this realm behind and see the mortal realm without any foreseeable consequences. Yes. That must have been why he wasn't allowed to go up there on his own. And that was why he would continue to do so.

“Damien..”  
There he was now. Pathetic excuse for the ultimate evil. What did he want this time, anyways?

The devil himself walked into the room with an air about him that said he was trying to be as non-threatening as possible, which for him was honestly surprisingly easy. He may have _looked_ frightening but if anyone could see right through that it was Damien. As that small god-loathing French child who’d joined the legions of souls of the damned briefly quite a while ago would have said he was a bit of a _fucking pussyass **bitch**._ (Don’t forget the heavy accent)

Damien kinda liked that kid. It was a shame he was revived miraculously and had to go so soon.

He’d almost forgotten for a moment his father was speaking to him and only picked up what he’d been saying as he finished his statement.

“-So since I see you've been lonely I thought maybe I could take a resident of hell and...give them a special pass to spend their time with you rather than be mercilessly and endlessly tortured.”  
What.  
Damien’s eyes flickered up from the ground where he’d been staring idly and his neutral expression turned to a frown as he sat up straighter. “Pardon me, father?”

“A child your age died unceremoniously today in some chaos at that Coloradan town you keep going to visit and I brought him here for you.” Lucifer said, taking a slightly sterner tone to show him it was no suggestion.  
Damien remained rather stoically unaffected, though generally upset with the idea.  
“It isn't that blond one again is it?” He asked quickly, getting to his feet on the ornate Gothic chair he’d been lounging in to make himself seem a bit bigger and more dignified, threatening perhaps, though someone with the appearance of a 9 year old child standing on a large black throne like he was frightened or affronted by that below was still rather preposterous-looking if anything. “The one with the hood?? I hate that kid! _I turned him into a platypus with reason.”_  He snapped childishly, casting an arm out in front of himself dramatically but neglecting intentionally to send flames from his fingertips as it appeared he was to, even though he certainly could.

It was then that he heard a faint familiar voice that stopped him dead in his tracks, halting anything he intended to say or do next.  
“Oh mercy me--” Pip muttered to himself just a tad shakily from around the corner, unsure of just what was going on, what he had gotten himself into, and mostly unable to properly comprehend the fact that he’d not only died but gone to hell, and now **_Satan_** had taken him somewhere particular with little explanation.

Damien was surprised to so easily recognize the voice of the boy he’d made a firework show out of a year or so ago to gain acceptance amongst the children of South Park -something he would now vehemently deny having sought in most cases- but nonetheless hopped down from his momentary perch and walked past his father to see the sheepish English boy ringing his hands a little, just before glancing up at him and falling dead silent.

 _“You-!”_  They called out in unison after a short moment, each taking a small step back from the other, Damien defensively lighting a small fire in the palm of his right hand as he hissed in return, cutting the other off entirely if he’d chosen to continue, “It surprises not the son of the cursed one that you have been needlessly killed!”  
He paused when the light seemed to leave Pip’s eyes, he still wasn't 100% keen on the having died and gone to hell part of this. It was hard to believe, and being _smashed_ with little warning was not exactly a psychological blessing of a way to go. “R-..righto then.” He replied unevenly, visibly uncertain and moderately upset.

Damien just stared at him for a moment before turning to his father again, who was slipping away while they were distracted.

“This must be a joke!” He announced loudly, frowning slightly more when he caught a glimpse of Pip flinching at his sudden change in volume, “I do not accept this, father!”

“You will and you’ll be happy about it, that’s final Damien, now play nice with your new friend!”

Satan, telling you to play nice. Even Pip seemed to understand how strange that sounded as the proclaimed ‘master of darkness’ took his leave in a huff.

Damien glared at the (rightfully) anxious boy to his side again and then folded his arms, still frowning pointedly.

He let out the smallest sigh in exasperation and accepted the fact that he had to do something with the human child.

“Consider yourself very lucky mortal!” He snapped again abruptly, this time Pip’s eyes widened just a bit but he didn't wince in surprise. “You will only be tormented by me!”

He took a second to think and then knocked the hat off the other’s head for no particular reason. Just to be a dick.  
“You are more likely to become a loyal servant than a vile tortured plaything in my care. ..And not because I don’t dislike you.”

Pip evaluated the situation for a moment or so before he was sure of how to react, he was honestly rather relieved to see Damien, this certainly seemed a preferable circumstance to him than just going to hell (though he couldn't say he’d realized he deserved such a thing, how dreadful.); And it seemed there wasn't any other option regardless, there was no going back to life as usual, that was for sure, so he scooped his hat up off the ground again, brushing it off lightly and placed it atop his head again with a faint smile. He’d just have to straighten up and take things as they came to him, as usual.

Damien frowned again confusedly, cocking his head to the side slightly at the other; he didn't seem frightened enough, or at all. This kid was such a pushover.

_“Need I set you alight yet again for you to know my power??”_

However the young Englishman just stared back at him for a moment, “Pardon me but, do you think you could first explain a bit more fully to me what’s happened just now? I’m just a tad lost.”

Damien seemed disappointed, this time he swept the other boy’s hat off of his head with just a lazy flick of his wrist that sent it flying through the air, “Why do you fail to fear my great darkness?? I have brought my wrath upon you in the past foolish mortal!” He whined, flailing his arms, “Fear me!”

There was a moment of silence where the obviously frustrated dark-haired boy let his arms fall to his sides again and attempted to regain a sense of superiority just before Pip opened his mouth again to speak, “Well I suppose I’m really rather used to being tormented, perhaps not as badly, but if I’m down here it’s because I deserve it isn't it?” He said somewhat matter-of-factly, and with a surprising levelheadedness, even smiling a bit again towards the end, “But you know, the um-...the devil, back there, said I was supposed to be your friend, yes? Shall we have some fun instead?”

_“Fun??”_

Damien intended to continue but when he saw Pip make a move to pick up his hat again he stopped to give a blank stare and sent the hat flying 10-20 feet away this time.  
“Stop doing that!” He huffed.  
Pip turned to him again and blinked a few times, “V-..very well then.”  
Momentary silence fell again while Damien ran a few things over in his mind before speaking up again, over-dramatic pointing at the boy in front of him and all.  
“Sit down!”  
Pip tilted his head to the left just slightly but sat cross-legged on the ground anyways and looked up at Damien as if inquiring as to why, Damien finally smirked just faintly and then strolled past him to pick up the brown newsboy cap, turned on his heel to walk back and stood in front of the other again, “Want your hat back?”  
“I suppose so yes--”

Though as soon as Pip had begun to respond, fire lit up in Damien’s eyes and with it the hat was set spontaneously ablaze as Damien looked rather smug about it, then nonchalantly tossed it aside, “I shall show you around.”

And with this he walked past again, shoving the Brit over onto the ground to prompt him to stand and to follow.


	2. Chapter 2

After scrambling quickly to his feet, not wanting to be left behind here by any means, Pip followed the other boy through a frightening-looking cavern, and then across a very narrow and unstable-sounding land bridge over pits of boiling lava, wondering if Damien was just trying to get him to slip up and kill himself.

Of course, if he did, where would he go but here?

Damien was awfully quiet for a tour guide, simply muttering to himself darkly once or twice as they passed expansive and suitably hellish landscapes for a short while, until finally -and much to Pip's surprise- they came upon an exceedingly normal apartment building amongst the fiery chaos.

Hell was a strange place.

He continued to the door, not seeming to care whether Pip was keeping up or not as he pushed it open and walked inside.

The apartment building looked as usual on the inside as it did from the outside, it was rather quiet as Damien wandered down the front hall and tapped the up-arrow by the elevators at the end before turning on his heel and leaning against the wall to face Pip again, who was plainly very confused by the change of pace.

"Wipe that stupid look off of your face, why don't you?" He huffed, watching the other boy cast a wandering glance around the room, "Is this really so difficult to grasp or are you just an imbecile?"

Pip turned to him again and chuckled a bit uncomfortably, trying not to think too much on what he'd seen on the way there, "Terribly sorry, but...it's not.. _all_ fire, death and doom here in...hell?"

Damien looked bored, if not a bit disappointed, "..You're really slow. You know?"

 

"Oh, sorry-"

 

"-And stop apologizing!" He snapped, standing up straight again, "It's not worth anything if you're just going to continue being pathetic and stupid!"

 

There was a momentary silence as Pip looked a bit taken aback, honestly he had no reason to be surprised by any level of cruelty, Damien thought, he was speaking to the Anti-Christ after all.

 

"...sorry-"

 

_"AGGHHH-!"_

Damien threw his hands into the air again, pacing once in a small circle and fighting the strong urge to turn the little British boy into a small, dumb-looking animal, when there was a loud 'DING' behind him and the elevator doors slid shakily open.

"Would you mind horribly if I asked where we're going?" Pip asked, slinking past him where he'd stopped in his tracks when the familiar sound rang out and into the elevator, having a look around inside; it looked just as normal as any other.

"To my room." Damien said blankly, stepping in as well, pressing the top button -which he couldn’t reach, and thusly did so with his mind instead- and contemplating smashing his head against the wall a few times, he wanted to get this over with, once Pip had an idea of how things were going to work around here he could kill him and then not have to see him until the next morning.

Or else not wait and just make sure whatever he did wouldn't _really_ put an (albeit momentary) end to his life.

“Are...there more, _normal-looking_ places like this in hell?” Pip asked curiously, watching the son of satan himself stare fervently at the side of the elevator as they ascended several floors toward the top of the building.

Damien turned his glare toward him again and quirked a brow, “..As opposed to?”  
Pip blinked a few times, this was a new concept to him somehow, it was certainly true he didn’t know anything at all for a fact about hell, so maybe if he was going to ask questions they ought to have been with a more open mind regarding the fact that Damien was really the authority on information here, “I just always thought the lot of it looked like it did back there.” He said, rocking back and forth on his heels a little, “Back with the, ehm-...lava and, sharp rocks and things of the sort-”  
 _“You thought.”_ Damien replied snidely, “That’s a surprise.”

 

“You’ve gotten meaner.” Pip said spontaneously, actually catching him off guard, Damien’s expression softened again in mild surprise.

 

“Meaner than setting you on fire and turning that Kenny kid into a platypus?”

 

Pip laughed, “As if you’re the first kid to set me on fire.”

 

This actually rendered a surprised scoff from the other boy, who had now turned again to face him, “Who else set you on fire?”

 

“Eric Cartman.” Pip flatly replied, folding his arms, “With his ass.”

 

“I am not surprised at all.”

 

There was a ‘DING’ from somewhere near the top of the elevator again and the doors rattled a little and then slid open again, as they’d arrived on the very top floor, which seemed to have one apartment that expanded over most of it, since there was only one door at the end of a little hall from the elevator doors.

Damien stepped out first and started toward the door with no regards to whether Pip was there again, regaining his condescending demeanor in the blink of an eye.

He stopped at the door and just waved a hand at it to unlock itself and walked right in, leaving Pip to scramble from the elevator down the little hall into the door before he slammed it closed with another wave of his hand.

The apartment was rather expansive and not filled with much furniture or decoration, but it was still a _**mess**._

There was a bookshelf topped over and splintered dangerously in a few places in the front room, the kitchen that was visible from the door was a right disaster area, and there was a floor lamp with a burst light bulb that looked as if it had caught fire and burnt up it’s own shade, among several other things.

“...Is..this _your_ , flat..?” Pip asked slowly, clearly unnerved by the setting; Damien walked into the kitchen and looked in the fridge like the fact it looked as if a SWAT team had raided the place was nothing.

“Father gave me this place but he doesn’t come back to check on it, he’s much too busy for me most of the time.” He said with a rather sad amount of nonchalance, “That’s why it takes him a while to notice when I’m gone too.”

Silence fell until Damien swung the refrigerator door closed again and walked back over to the wrecked living room with a juice box in hand.

“Flat? That’s British talk isn’t it?” He said casually, looking especially non-threatening while trying to put a straw in a box of apple juice.

“Oh, yes-ehm, right it’s ‘apartment’ in America, isn’t it?” Then it dawned on him, cocking his head to the left slightly, “..Why do you speak American English?”

 

Damien thought about it for a moment and then just shrugged, walking down another short hall inside and then to what must have been his bedroom, as he’d mentioned earlier, Pip wouldn’t have followed immediately but he didn’t want to risk being left alone, so he hopped to it.

The other had pulled himself up onto a large king-sized bed in the middle of the room and stood up again, looking down on him as he entered the room.

“You are my servant now!” Damien announced, bouncing up and down a little where he was standing on the sheets, strewn around as they were, “Be glad I don’t feel like torturing you!”

 

“Would you like to play a game instead?” Pip asked quietly from the doorway, flinching when a (now-empty) juice box collided with his head, after being thrown by Damien.

 

“Why do you pretend to be so happy?” He sighed, sitting down, “I’ve seen how people treat you. All the time.”

 

The look on Pip’s face suggested he was surprised again and thinking about it, that it was true that his paper-thin act despite being picked on constantly was just that, an act.

 

“Isn’t there anything you **_hate_** _?”_

 

Pip looked up at him when he spoke again to find his cheek resting on his right hand boredly as he looked down at him, not having to think for more than a precious few seconds before he replied.

  
“The French.”


	3. Chapter 3

“..That’s so cliche.”

 

Damien did his level best to make certain Pip understood the situation in decent detail while still containing the urge to throw him out the window when he asked questions, but when he got to mentioning the fact that if he were to die he’d just wake up where he left off some time later, unbeknownst to the other, he grew steadily fonder of the idea of a demonstration.

 

It couldn’t have been anywhere near as bad as being crushed, right? If he _‘fell’_ out the window he’d probably end up passing out before he even hit the ground. That and Pip was actually a pretty tough kid in all honesty.

Then again, why did he _care_ anyway? Not like he really wanted to befriend this kid.

He got to his feet again and hopped down from the side of the bed, walking over to the window and pushing it open to look outside, before waving the other boy over, “So I guess you’re going to stay here with me until further notice.”

Pip walked over and looked out the window somewhat apprehensively, not anticipating the terrible sight of hell itself, even if from here he found he could see some of the spots of normal buildings that just seemed placed randomly across the landscape.

 

“I could always just ditch you somewhere, but then my father would likely happen upon you and get upset.” Damien mused, paying close attention to the other’s proximity to the windowsill as he stepped a bit closer, “At least I won’t be so bored.”

If he just leaned out, just a little-

He was _almost_ there...just a bit closer..

 

It was lucky Pip was looking out the window and not paying any attention at the moment, as Damien had gone from a nonchalant glance to the side at him to a rather intensely focused and devious look of intent, just waiting for the perfect moment..

“Can you see the church from here?”  
That was just what Pip needed to lean out the window a bit more to get a look around, confused as he was by the question, “..Wait-...church-?”

Without any further warning Damien heaved the smaller boy out the wide open window before he could turn around and question him about such a ludicrous suggestion, leaning on the windowsill and shouting to him as he fell stories toward the ground, _“Made ya look!”_

 

It wasn’t too long before Pip hit the rocky ground. _Hard_. The pain was enough that he went entirely numb in near an instant, and there was only a moment or so he had left of consciousness as he tried to look back up from where he’d fallen, and his vision faded to black.

Damien just shook his head, muttered under his breath, seeing the fall had easily killed him, and brushed the dust off of his hands, “You really _**are**_ astoundingly stupid.”

 

No more Pip for now.

  
  
  


On the ground it was musty, and just about every other kind of unpleasant you could think, the list could drag on quite a while.

Pip felt weighed down heavily as he let out a small cough and took a first deep breath back into his lungs, his muscles and bones ached as he pushed himself up to a seated position, but then soon realized that his clothes were not only in impressively shabbier condition than before, but they were badly bloodied, and what else, it felt for certain as if considerable time had passed. This was jarring and frightening even as he knew what had happened, in and of itself, as what was more, there was no sign at all of Damien, who simply hadn’t bothered to take this time to be there when Pip regained consciousness, that was obviously because he simply didn’t care.

 

Damien just killed him. For fun it looked like. But then again, maybe he _was_ just trying to show him what would happen.

 

Pip was uncertain of anything to do without Damien to lead him, he definitely didn't want to wander anywhere he wasn't supposed to be, or worse somewhere he didn't want to be but was perfectly allowed, so all there was was to go back up there and...maybe stay clear of the windows this time.

When he wandered back inside, slipped into the elevator and rode it to the top floor again quietly, then knocked on Damien's door with considerable apprehension, Damien opened it and smirked at him rather contentedly.

"Perhaps you _will_ catch on fast."

 

Pip frowned; he hardly believed a demonstration of that degree was necessary, or that he deserved the free fall and it's bitter end for any other reason.

"What exactly am I supposed to be learning, may I ask?"

 

"Trust no man." Damien said more seriously than was _ever_ necessary, "You're in hell now so act like it. Everyone is guilty until proven innocent. Also quit being such a pussy."

 

The air about Damien was strange, like he was constantly trying to put on this act of grandeur and cruelty as was expected of the anti-christ, but it kept...slipping.

 

"Are you at all fond of Archery by any chance?" Pip asked with an impressive level of nonchalance, and even a small smile again, "I am."

 

Damien stared at him for a minute and silently debated slamming the door in his face, he wasn't sure why this kid was so determined not to be upset about anything, he just kept changing the subject, and with it the mood.

 

"...Maybe.." He said slowly, frowning again and pushing the door open further to let him back in; Pip walked past him inside, watching his step for the occasional stain on the carpet, and thankfully nowhere near the shattered glass in the corner with the lamp, he was rather determined by now to stay on the bright side of the situation, as per the norm, and Damien seemed progressively irritated by it.

But he knew he could break him.

He was getting close after all, he could tell.

Any time now Damien would have to stop trying to be mean and then maybe they _could_ be friends.

Then Damien turned on his heel as he slammed the door again, "You're covered in blood."

 

Pip cringed slightly, not looking down to confirm it, he was quite aware. "Apparently."

 

"Also, your socks are stupid." Damien continued, "Why are you _still_ dressed like that? None of it even matches."

 

Pip wasn't entirely sure how to respond to this save for with a question.

"..Do you have anything for me to wear instead?"

 

Damien thought it over for a moment, then glanced toward the door again, "I should at least get you something that’s not hard to look at if you’re following me around all the time, since that's what you'll be doing for who knows how long now." He sighed somewhat exasperatedly, rubbing his head.

Now he had to _dress_ the kid too? It was exhausting enough just talking to him.

“We’ll go get you something new that’s not stupidly colored and then-”

 

“Then perhaps we could round up a couple bows and some arrows-” Pip interrupted him with a smile, clasping his hands together in front of his chest, “-and have ourselves a little friendly competition!”

 

“You do realize you’re _asking_ me to arm myself.” Damien replied flatly, staring him down with an air of slight disappointment, “After I just killed you in cold blood. _Right..?”_

 

Somehow this hadn’t crossed Phillip’s mind, but he would certainly make use of it to the advantage of passing it off as trust.

After all, he would _hope_ at the very least that Damien wouldn’t kill him again. So quickly.

 

After a momentary pause Pip opened his mouth to speak but the other boy just rolled his eyes and turned away from him, opening the front door again and starting back down the hall, “It’s no wonder everyone picked on you. You’re even more stupid than they are.”

 

Pip hurried to follow, closing the door behind himself carefully and then scuttling down the hall after the other boy, “Oh! I remember, you like Terrance and Phillip don’t you?”

Damien almost stopped in his tracks, blinking surprisedly but shaking his head a little before he continued; he’d almost forgotten about that today for some reason, probably because he was so focused on being the anti-christ, human cartoons weren’t exactly of importance.

“Yes.”

 

“You remember _my_ name is actually Phillip, right?” Pip continued, smiling brightly now, after having noticed Damien’s rather obvious tripping up his pretentious stride a bit.

 

“...Yes.” Damien lied casually, leaning on the elevator button again.

He honestly didn’t care, but now that it was brought to his attention it seemed at least a little bit of an entertaining thought, come to think of it both Phillips were blonde, too. Maybe at some point he’d make him cut his stupid hair.

 

“Say, Terrance, what did the Spanish priest say to the Iranian gynecologist?”

 

“No.” Damien replied immediately, holding a hand up in front of himself and shoving the smaller boy over onto the floor with his powers, “Don’t you start that-”

 

He was in charge here and he wasn’t going to act like a child. He was the son of satan and it would be easy to keep his composure.

He glared at the Brit quietly until the elevator arrived yet again and as he turned his back again to step inside, ‘Phillip’ blew a raspberry behind him and he failed completely to keep from cracking up in about 0.2 seconds.


	4. Chapter 4

"..You look ridiculous-" Damien choked out in a repressed laugh, looking over his work, "It suits you."

Pip was looking over himself in a tall mirror, knocked against the wall carelessly in what looked something like part of an abandoned shopping mall, Damien seemed to stray from the more populated, up-and-running places down here, which functionally paralleled his tendency to sneak off to see the world up above, but there must have been a reason. He'd have to ask about it.  
Quite unlike his plain black sweater and jeans, for whatever reason Damien had acquired a black suit for his new 'friend', and was now considering forcing him to cut his stupid hair all the more.  
Pip thought he looked rather nice actually.  
Damien thought he looked like a butler.

Which was fitting, really.

"Damien?"

Damien blinked twice and glanced up at his face again, "What."

"Why would you run off to the human world all the time if you avoid the humans down here?"  
It was an honest question, he was confused.  
The taller (and considerably more disgruntled) boy folded his arms and debated responding for a moment, looking at the ground.

"..It's complicated."  
Damien turned his gaze up toward him again, frowning, and then shrugged very lightly, "I don't like the people here, and they don't really like me."  
Pip cocked his head to the side a bit and frowned as well, "Why not?"  
"They're in hell. And who do you think they blame for that? God? Or Satan and his little _brat._ " Damien snarled, fire lighting up in his eyes again for a moment.  
He cooled off again finding that Pip looked both sufficiently terrified and sympathetic, and tossed in another thing, "Sometimes they don't really care, but there's also the fact that i'm an abusive, condescending prick."  
"You're not so bad!" Pip chimed in hurriedly, grabbing a hold of the other's shoulders momentarily and shaking him just before being sent careening across the room again and into the wall with one THUMP for the impact and then another unceremonious THUD when he landed on the ground again, groaning.  
The fire in Damien's eyes went out again as he replied, "You're a poor judge of character."  
While Damien was correct, Pip liked to think that there was good in everyone and he was just selling himself short.  
Ironic, considering he was the anti-Christ, but nevertheless.  
“Honestly you’re lucky you’re stuck with me now, kid.” Damien continued, ignoring the pain the other boy was obviously in as he clambered feebly to his feet again, and turning to walk away, “I may be an asshole like the other pathetic mortals in your old class, but I’m one of few people it seems in this world that are more interested in making you useful for something instead of only tormenting you.”  
He paused again and folded his arms, turning back on his heel where he was near the door, after deeming it unnecessary to dramatically refuse to look at Pip while he was talking to him.  
“What good are you to anyone just getting shoved around in the background, anyway? It should be clear enough to you by now your pitiable facade of contentment just makes you all the more boring and disposable. Now get up off the ground, _Phillip,_ we’re going.”  
Pip wobbled on his feet a bit once he’d stood himself up, it felt a bit like his tolerance for pain was slowly improving.  
He rubbed his head and straightened himself out to follow Damien wherever he was headed, brushing off his new clothes; and while he was being especially harsh at the moment, Pip could tell now more than ever that Damien was warming up to him.  
If you could call pity that, but pity was more than anyone else seemed to have for him in the past.  
And they were walking again, at first in silence, but Pip didn’t let that last long.  
“Damien?”  
“What.”  
“Are you...really, finally going to call me my real name?” He asked somewhat meekly, in a small voice, as he wandered along behind the other.  
“I suppose. If you want me to, and you’ll _shut up_ about it.” Damien snapped, blatantly lacking sincere bitterness.  
“It’s been awhile since anyone has to be honest, I’m not sure why Pip stuck quite as well as it did, but it’s refreshing almost to have someone else my age call me my own name.” Pip said with a smile, Damien shrugged him off as he continued walking.  
“That’s kind of sad.”  
“I s’pose it is, but it’s true nonetheless.” Pip said nonchalantly, coming up on his right to walk at his side as they continued out of the building.  
“Has it occurred to you yet I could be like, thousands of years old, or something?” Damien pointed out, veering away from him a bit, “Just because I look like I could be your age doesn't mean I _am._ ”  
Pip didn't seem to have to think about this long at all before he responded, “I’m fairly certain you've got to be about nine or ten, if i’m honest.”  
“Oh? and why’s that?” The slightly-taller boy asked snobbishly.  
“I don’t think you’d choose to look like it if you weren't is all.”  
It was clear Damien hadn't thought that through at all before he opened his mouth, and he didn't look especially pleased about the revelation, but he frowned in the other’s direction and straightened himself out again to look forward. “..Touché.”  
He was surprised to find Pip cringing visibly at the simple uttering of such a commonplace word of French and he thought for a moment on it, and then slapped a hand on the English boy’s shoulder, startling him considerably.  
“With such a petty grudge as that perhaps you’ll like it here after all.”  
“..Pardon me?”  
Pip sounded very concerned, and this was nothing but entertaining to his companion.  
Damien looked him over again, perhaps proud, even, of the work on his cohort he’d done just this far.  


“I wondered why someone as pathetic and nice as you ended up here anyways,” He said, “I think you’re lying to yourself an awful lot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was only meant as a semi-experimental opening to a storyline to be picked up on briefly later in a series of Fics to be entitled: Freshman Year
> 
> I could write some more of the story centered on these two by popular demand, but this was all I planned, so here you have it, and I hope you enjoyed it!


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